I’ll start off by saying both of these things suck beyond measure. The things I love most in the world are God, my family and friends, and my bed. I will probably be struggling with this feeling of longing for the duration of my trip, but I don’t see this as a bad thing at all. Feeling like you’re missing something is part of leaving and starting something else. But let’s talk about jet lag and how awful it can be. First of all my jet lag is like a strobe light, it’s always off and on at random times throughout the day and night. I fall into a pretty sound sleep for most of the night or a twilight sleep for the entire night which leaves me feeling like a zombie by mid afternoon. I loathe this feeling because it throws off my entire being. I’m so excited for my body to regulate itself so I can just get on Beijing time and feel human again.
Homesickness is sad. The term is enough to bring me to tears. As of now I have spent a total of zero nights crying myself to sleep thinking about home which is great but strange. I usually feel like crying when I know I have to spend more than two hours outside my room. I am a hardcore homebody and extremely proud because homebody’s know themselves very well. If you like to be out and about no shade, I admire you people. Back to homesickness and the strangeness of it. Like I mentioned earlier I feel homesick at home and I definitely cried in the hours leading to my departure, but those were all the tears that fell. Now I just feel angry and constantly irritated by everything and everyone. I’ve never experienced this kind of homesickness before and I don’t know how to handle it. I’m very comfortable with feeling angry and I’d rather feel that than sadness. Okay that’s all I got for today.